Hair Anxiety Attack

5 Sep

“A woman’s hair is her crown.” – Shon Stoker

I love my hair. Other than my eyes, I honestly think its my best feature.

I have been platinum blonde:

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A redhead:

red hotA warm brown:

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And golden blonde:

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Just to name a few… it’s been long, short and layered, even bangs now and again. Growing up, my mom use to tell us that she didn’t care what we did to our hair because it would grow back eventually, and if that’s the worst we ever did then we were set.

I am very attached to my hair. I know the style I like and the colors that look good with my coloring. And I’ve been changing the color of my hair for so long now that I couldn’t tell you what my natural color is. I have learned over the years that short hair looks TERRIBLE on me due to the structure of my face, long layers are the way to go. The problem is when I find a style and color I like, I tend to stick with it for a LONG time. Change, especially when it comes to my hair, makes me uneasy.

Recently I have been freaking out about turning 25 (only 9 more days, still not looking forward to it). I don’t know why exactly, but it has me on edge. Maybe it’s because I’ve been feeling like my life is at a stand still and I’m trying to figure out what my great purpose in life is. Whatever the reason, I’m on pins and needles.

And I have been obsessing with my hair, nit-picking everything that is wrong with it. It’s too thin, too stringy, the color is ugly, there are tons of split ends, it doesn’t look professional, it falls out easily, the list goes on and on. And then I was reminded that my license needed renewed before my birthday and I wanted to burst into tears because I was going to have an awful photo with terrible hair for the next four years, it was just too much. This called for an emergency hair appointment, STAT.

I am very picky about who touches my hair. In my lifetime, there have only been three stylists who have seriously cut my hair. (Okay, so my grandmother use to cut my bangs, but didn’t all grandma’s in the ’90 do that with scotch tape and scissors? There were some tears shed in her kitchen over the years. Love you grandma!) Thank goodness one of my hair stylists had an open appointment yesterday afternoon.

I went in with a photo of style I liked and no idea for the color. I knew I wanted it darker as we head into fall and I needed it to be professional for work, other than that, I left the decision in the stylist’s capable and knowledgeable hands. i figured she was better at determining what shades and colors would look best with my skin tone and eye color. But I’ll be honest, I was nervous to see the results.

Saw this taped to the mirror at the hair salon. "Blessed are the hairstylists - for they bring out the beauty in others."

Saw this taped to the mirror at the hair salon. “Blessed are the hair stylists – for they bring out the beauty in others.”

For me, it is a very relaxing experience to go and have my hair done. I love hearing all the gossip, catching up on family news and just laughing and enjoying my time. It’s a wonderful feeling to have someone else tend to your hair. It’s almost like you are getting a head message during the shampoo and conditioning phase. And there really are no words to describe how relaxing it is to have another person comb and brush out your hair. If I ever won the lottery (I guess I would have to start playing first, though…), I would hire my own personal hair stylist to wash, brush and style my hair everyday for the rest of my life.

I was proud of myself, I didn’t panic during the coloring, but when the scissors came out, part of me contemplated fleeing the building. I knew a few inches of my lovely long hair would need to be cut to get rid of the split-ends and to even everything back up to make it pretty. I wasn’t expecting to see THIS much hair falling though:

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I put on my big girl pants and soldiered through it. Thankfully there were no tears. And once she started to dry my hair and style it, my anxiety started to fade. I could see it, the new me. Where there was this wanna-be adult when I walked in, a fierce and somewhat attractive woman had mysteriously taken her place. I was shocked. No words, that doesn’t happen to me often. It’s very different. It’s dark and short and I have these funky swoopy bangs. A stranger greeted me in the bathroom mirror this morning, but she has stylish hair so she can stay.

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The transformation: Before and After

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And because this story NEEDS an extra happy ending, I went to get my new license photo today and it’s the PERFECT picture! It looks like a model head shot! I don’t always think I look pretty, and certainly never beautiful, but today I felt just a little bit more comfortable in my skin, maybe all I needed was a mini makeover to remind myself I’m someone special. And now to embrace life as a dark brunette and discover what adventures lie ahead!

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2 Responses to “Hair Anxiety Attack”

  1. Laura September 6, 2013 at 5:48 pm #

    It looks just lovely :). I really love a few hairsyles ago you as a redhead as well!

    • mgibbon2 September 6, 2013 at 7:15 pm #

      Awe thank you!! It was fun being a redhead!

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