Tag Archives: Sisters

Becoming a Butterfly

31 Mar

Spring is a time of change. The snow melts. The days start to get longer. The trees bloom and the flowers awaken. And in no time at all, there will be butterflies.

I’ve always been fascinated with butterflies, not because of their colors or their grace, but because of the amount of change they endure in such a short lifetime. Within the span of a-couple-months, a Monarch butterfly will hatch from an egg, spend its days consuming leaves as a larvae (caterpillar), attach itself to the stem of a plant or branch as the pupa (while it undergoes 10 days of change in the chrysalis), until it finally emerges as an adult butterfly with mere weeks left to lay an egg to ensure the survival of the species before passing away.

Change does not come easy to me – it never has, and it doesn’t matter how big or small a change may be, it causes me to over think, over analyze and over worry. I would be a terrible butterfly. I’ve hatched from an egg all alone in the world. Is this plant I’m on safe to eat? What if my chrysalis detaches during a storm? Will I be strong enough to break out of this thing when it’s time? How will my wings know how to fly without being taught? What if I fall? Now I have to produce the next generation – that’s a lot of pressure!

It’s a really good thing I’m not a butterfly – I may have never made it out of the egg!

Just like the butterfly, I find myself in a season of change. I am taking steps to return to school to further my education, a goal I set for myself when I watched my mom graduate with her Master’s degree, the first in her family and the best role model I could have ever asked for.

Scott and I are also apartment hunting. Together we’ve looked at two apartment layouts at one complex, he looked at a different complex today before work, and I’ll look it over on Saturday. I’m ready to have our own place, but I find myself on a rollercoaster of emotions from excitement  to totally terrified.

More often than not these days, I wake with knots in my stomach and a pounding headache after nights of stressful dreams. I know I’m worried about finances and finding an apartment that is clean and in a safe neighborhood. But I’m also worried about me. Living in Florida for a year while on the Disney College Program was one thing, I knew when it ended I would be returning home, to my room, to my safe haven. Now, that’s not an option.

I don’t know who I am outside of these blue bedroom walls – they have been my sanctuary since I was 10 years old (but I should mention that when we built this house I was all about the pink frilly life, so the walls were baby doll pink). This room has seen me change from pre-teen to an adult woman. I have slammed the door after arguments with my parents, shared my deepest, darkest secrets with friends, and cried my heart out in here when a boy carelessly broke my heart. This room has seen many late nights finishing homework or finishing a book that I just couldn’t put down. I do my best thinking and writing from this spot on my bed, staring out the window at the post office and the great void beyond.

My room has changed with me, always adapting to my needs. From pink to blue, from Barbie dolls to mountains of mystery and romance books, and my embarrassing love of Billy Gilman to my new love of running races.

But as I look around, I notice how the room doesn’t feel as big as it once did. Maybe that’s because I share it now. Most of Scott’s belongings aren’t even in here, they are sitting in our front room downstairs waiting for a place to call home. Or maybe it’s because, like the butterfly who knows when 10 days have past and it’s time to emerge, I know the time has come to move on.

I doubt the butterfly ever thinks about what happens to the chrysalis it left behind. I, on the other hand, think about a time when this room will no longer be “my room.” One of my sisters will move in here. They have always shared a room and have been chomping at the bit for me to pick up and leave already. I can’t blame them, it is nice having a space all your own in the house. Whomever moves in will change the walls, redecorate and add her own personal touch to the space. I will be erased. Just a memory of yesterday. My safe haven claimed by someone new.

It may be silly to feel so attached to a room, but we are each unique and have our own quirks. Maybe you are attached to a specific coffee mug, car or jacket. Called it an adult version of a security blanket, it’s that one thing you can count on being there to pick you up and warm your heart. And soon, I will be walking away from mine. I think I will feel lost for a while, unsure of my footing in my new room. But I hope with time I will feel comfortable there.

Change is never easy, but in order to progress through life it is a necessary evil. And so it is at these late hours of the night I find myself praying that my wings will know how to fly because whether I want to or not, I’m changing into a butterfly.

Do you live for change or does every cell in your body fight for things to remain as they always have like me? Tell me your best tips and advice for surviving a season of change! I don’t know how many more rough nights and anxiety starting mornings I can take.

How do you measure a year?

31 Dec

As the time draws closer to midnight and the moment we say goodbye forever to 2014, I find myself, like many others, reflecting on the last 365 days of my existence – thinking about what happened in my life and the world around me, wondering how I’ve changed and grown as an individual, daughter, sister, girlfriend, co-worker and member of society. Did I make 2014 actually count for something – or did I waste those 525,949 minutes?

It is no secret that I love music, and often say life would be much more enjoyable if it were a musical, so it should come as no surprise that for the last few New Year’s Eves, I’ve always been reminded of the song “Seasons of Love” from the musical Rent. Haven’t heard it you say? Not to worry my friend, I’ve linked it here for you. Take a listen – I’ll wait.

I really connect with this song – the lyrics are so thought-provoking because while we each understand that we have one year, 365 days – we each measure the passing of that time differently.

This past year, that consisted of counting down days until Disney vacations, or adding up the miles I ran while training for my half marathon. But I counted in other ways as well – the minutes until I could clock out after a long day at work, the days leading up to the weekend, and I usually underestimated the hours I spent lost in a book or talking to Scott.

There are times during the year where time almost seemed to stop – watching my baby sister give her co-valedictorian speech and then receive her high school diploma, walking through the airport arrival gates and seeing Scott for the first time in too many months, saying goodbye to my very best friend before she moved across the country to chase her dreams and crossing the finish line of my first half marathon.

Other highs for the year, which you may or may not know about include: being promoted at work and receiving a pay raise, seeing my designs featured in the local newspapers and on billboards, leasing my very first car, renting my very first car and successfully navigating Florida traffic, our family welcoming the addition of a number of new babies and completely paying off one of my student loans!

While the big things are important, the small everyday things matter more – the movie nights and bonding times with my family, spending one-on-one time with my quirky, but oh-so-lovable sisters, the late night chats and sleepovers with my best friend, completely nerdy text conversations with another best friend, reconnecting with old friends, rediscovering my passion for journaling and blogging, and discovering what makes me special, happy and 100% original.

While 2014 was mostly a good year by my own personal account, there were some times of hardship – my family had to say goodbye to a few loved ones who’ve passed on, the world has said goodbye to icons such as Robin Williams, Maya Angelou, James Garner and Oscar de la Renta, there have been many world tragedies and sorrows, and a constant reminder in the media that there is great evil in the world, lurking around every corner.

However, with the start of a new year, comes the hope of a brighter and better tomorrow. People feel an internal desire to try harder, dream bigger and love deeper than they ever have before. While many will give up on their New Year Resolutions within a few short weeks, it is my goal, and hopefully yours too, to stick it out this year, to fully commit to making the change.

I won’t go so far as to say 2015 will be my best year ever, because I don’t know what my future holds – but I do know that I will try very hard to wake up every morning with a smile and a can-do-will-do attitude. I will look for more opportunities to serve others and to accept help when I’m stressed. I will measure this coming year by love as the above song suggests – the love of my family, my boyfriend, my co-workers, my friends, myself and most of all the love I have for God and the knowledge that He already knows how my 2015 will turn out, so I have nothing to worry about – it’s in His hands after all.

If you’ve stuck with me this long, I’m so glad you’re still here because now it’s your turn – how did you measure 2014? What are you looking forward to in 2015? The year is yours my dear friend, what will you do with those precious 365 days?!

Happy New Year 2015

National Sisters Day

3 Aug

Happy National Sisters day to my lovable, funny, sometimes annoying little sisters Megan and Macayla. You may drive me nuts at times, but when I need you, I know I can always count on you to be there! We’ve had our ups and downs over the years, and more adventures than I can remember! I love that you’re always around to talk or snap a silly selfie! I’m lucky to have the sisters I do, because they aren’t just family, they are two of my favorite people in the world! Love you, ‘lil sisters! ❤

Sisters

Memorial Day 2014

26 May

Today was bittersweet as we watched my youngest sister, Macayla, march in her last Memorial Day parades. Way to end on a high note, kiddo!! 🙂

 

 

My Virtual Thanksgiving Table

28 Nov

 

 

Blogtember – A Catch-up!

8 Sep

First off, I’d like to thank The Daily Post for writing a whole post about the different blog events going on and providing useful links to them! It was thanks to that post I found the Blogtember Challenge on the blog Story of My Life and thought, why not?! Unfortunately, I found this post a few days after it started and decided I’d just do one LARGE catch-up on everything I’ve missed!

So, away we go!

September 3, 2013 –  Describe where or what you come from.

I wrote this when I was in high school but I think it still applies:

Where I’m From

With gratitude to George Ella Lyon

COPY CHANGE BY THE UNDERCOVER PRINCESS

I am from a hairbrush,

The computer and a single rose,

Deep red and elegant, standing tall and proud.

I am from the Carousel Theater and sliding into third base, breaking my ankle.

I am from chocolate and my radio,

From Diamond and the beach.

I’m from once in a blue moon…

And everyone saying, SHUT UP! When they are excited.

I’m from Wonder Woman and Hermione.

I’m from pickles and olives.

I’m from my mom, my dad, and my grandparents.

I’m from stardom and a singing career. 

September 4, 2013 –  If you could take three months off from your current life and do anything in the world, what would you do? (bonus points for fun photos.)

I would travel to all the places I’ve only been once and to all the places I’ve always dreamed of seeing – the latter list includes England, Scotland, Italy, Australia, South America, the list is endless!

September 5, 2013 – Pass on some useful advice or information you learned and always remembered.

My mom always says this to my sisters and I: “If you give a man a fish, he eats for a day. But if you teach a man to fish, he eats for a lifetime.”

Basically, in order to succeed in life, we need to learn to become self-sufficient, independent individuals. Yes, it’s nice when other people are there to take care of you, but what happens when the day comes when someone isn’t there to do those things anymore? Will you know how to go on? I think I will, and it’s got a great deal to do with my mom…and dad. 🙂

September 6, 2013 – A story about a time you were very afraid.

I’m not really sure what story to share…. my Not So Sweet 16th Birthday comes to mind….

Then there was the time I was caught in a terrible thunderstorm at Disney’s Hollywood Studios.

And when we found out my little sister had cancer. — yes, this one had me the most afraid because even though we fight from time to time, I’d be lost without her! And I’m happy to report that her scans are clean and we couldn’t be more excited! 🙂

Phew, now that I’m all caught up, fingers crossed I wont get behind again!



All About Me from A – Z

30 Jun

I saw this post on Shiawase Life’s blog and thought it’d make a great last-day of June 2013 post! So enjoy getting to know a little bit more about me!

 

A. Attached or Single? Long-distance dating – so yes, attached

B. Best Friend? I have a few, they keep me grounded and remind me to count my blessings daily! I don’t have pictures of everyone, but here are some of the wonderful ladies I list as my best friends!

SUPER OLD PICTURE!!! (L - R: Sophia, Kira, Me, Mandy)

SUPER OLD PICTURE!!! (L – R: Sophia, Kira, Me, Mandy)

Disney Sisters

My Disney sister, Monique and I (May 2013)

Disney Sisters

Some more of my lovely Disney sisters (L-R: Lisa, Catherine and Me)

 

C. Cake or pie? This is a hard one…. but right at this moment pie!

D. Day of choice? Friday

E. Essential Item? Inhaler which keeps me breathing – kind of important 😉

F. Favorite color? I love green and blue and everything in between! I REALLY like turquoise and sea foam green though!

G. Gummy bears or worms? worms!

H. Home town? Farmersville U.S.A., or No-Man’s Land, America – both could apply

IMG_6932

I. Favorite Indulgence? Sweets.

J. January or July? Well if you know me at all, this is a no brain-er! JULY because it means NO SNOW!!

K. Kids? Can’t wait to have my own someday! Currently loving up my nephew, Paul!

L. Life isn’t complete without? Hopes, Dreams, Wishes and Prayers

M. Marriage date? I’d love to get married in October someday

N. Number of brothers/sisters? Two younger sisters

sisters

(L:R) Megan, Me, Macayla

P. Phobia? Being a failure

Q. Quote? “You never know how strong you are until strong is all you have left.”

R. Reasons to smile? Cute text messages, silly conversations with my family, vacation planning, watching for shooting stars

S. Season of choice? Fall… the colors are BEAUTIFUL enough said!

fall

T. Tag 5 People. I don’t want to put anyone on the spot. Tag yourself!

U. Unknown fact about me? I feel like I’m an open book, there’s nothing I can really think of to share at the moment.

V. Vegetable? I love them all – I can’t pick a favorite!

W. Worst habit? Biting my nails when I’m nervous, anxious, scared, bored…

X. X-ray or Ultrasound? Well, I’ve had more X-rays in my lifetime than I know what to do with!

X-ray

Yup, this is actually my right ankle from when I injured it living in Florida a few years ago. Thankfully nothing was broken!

Y. Your favorite food? Broccoli rice and cheese casserole

Broccoli Rice and Cheese Casserole

Broccoli Rice and Cheese Casserole – Yup I made this and I HATE cooking!

Z. Zodiac sign? Virgo